Subtle mind
by mtm
Summary: Is Red John really gone?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I have been away for a long time but rest assured all your reviews and favoriting (is that even a word?) haven't escaped my attention and I'm glad people still find and enjoy the old stories. I started thinking about the Mentalist again after reviews by LouiseKurylo and this little idea popped in my head so you can thank her for this.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

The window frame was cool against his skin in the early morning as he was watching the first errant rays of sun appear over the horizon. Jane inhaled the silence and stillness of the night in the moments before the new day took over, enjoying the calm and advancing golden glow of the sun.

His tendency for insomnia hadn't got any better after all the years of not sleeping and even now when he had entered a new and happy chapter in his life, he still didn't require that much sleep. The nightmares still came but less frequently and they were now more muted and distant.

Lisbon was used to his wanderings and didn't even stir anymore when he left their bed. He always made sure to be back before she woke up as he didn't want her to feel upset by his absence and anyway he loved watching her facial expressions in that twilight zone just before waking up.

But she wouldn't be waking up for many hours yet as it was still very early. Jane turned his thoughts back to the stillness of the night and that deep humming of content he felt in his chest. After declaring his love for Lisbon, he seemed to have lost that tight, wound up coil in his chest and this deep feeling of warmth had taken residence instead.

He was still in awe of the feeling and took these moments of quiet to study it and let it roam free as his usual response to any emotions was still to contain it and throw away the key as he had done for many years and it took conscious effort of letting the feeling to diffuse through him.

Lisbon as usual was taking his struggles in her stride, giving him space when she thought he needed it and being loving and affectionate at other times. It spoke how well they knew each other as she seemed to always know what he needed.

And he was doing everything he could to make her happy, even keeping the most outrageous plans in check at work, although that always made Lisbon suspicious. However Abbott seemed to appreciate this new Jane and completely turned a blind eye to their relationship. Lisbon also had her rules about how they should behave at work and Jane respected them. Although if there was nobody around, he did let his mischievous side run rampant which had led to few interesting incidences including playing hide and seek with the cleaning crew. A smile spread over Jane's face as he was remembering that particular night.

Although now that he inspected the feeling of fuzzy contentment, it was unusually strong and infused with streaks of accomplishment. That was strange as nothing unusual had happened recently and he had now lived with Lisbon for several months.

Jane eventually shrugged his shoulders and filed the oddity into a drawer in his mind palace and turned around to return to the bed. The sight made the previous feelings return so strongly they almost took his breath away and he took a moment to admire his handiwork.

Lisbon was lying still on the bed with her throat cut but there wasn't a single drop of blood marring her white skin or the white sheets as he had been careful in lovingly collecting the blood. The shiny, smiling face on the wall above her contrasted nicely with her dull, serious expression.

XXX

Jane woke up with his heart hammering in his chest, the pressure building to a point that he thought he's going to have a heart attack. He couldn't move and had to lie still while in his head he was thrashing around. He faintly recognized this as sleep paralysis that he had encountered before when waking from a deep sleep as it took a while for the body to catch up that his brain was awake but he desperately needed to turn his head to make sure Lisbon was unharmed. After straining in panic inside his own head, his body finally awoke and he whipped around to find Lisbon calmly fast asleep next to him, the predawn gently lighting up her features.

Jane consciously went through his mental exercises to lower his pulse and respiratory rate before reaching out for Lisbon as he knew she would wake up if he was so agitated. Once he seemed outwardly calm, he scooted closer to Lisbon and gathered her gently in his arms and held her tightly nuzzling her hair and inhaling her scent, trying to surround himself with the sensation of Lisbon to convince himself that she was safe.

Lisbon stirred but after several months of living together she had become accustomed to Jane's sudden need to hold her, especially after his nightmares that she didn't wake up for which Jane was grateful. He couldn't face her after what he had done.

Yes, it had been a nightmare but he had been fully immersed and remembered every detail and thought that had crossed his mind. What was most disturbing, he still had the lingering feeling of accomplishment and it made him feel physically sick.

What the hell had that been about?

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jane couldn't get back to sleep. His thoughts were numbed but running around in circles. He had never had a nightmare this vivid with thoughts and feelings. It felt more like a memory than a dream. It made him shudder.

Dawn had crept in while Jane had been deep in his dark thoughts and Lisbon started stirring. He thought about hiding the dream and the effect it was having on him, however he had promised Lisbon that he wouldn't keep any secrets. He would tell her later in the evening, no reason to spoil Lisbon's day straight from the start.

He should have known better. Lisbon woke up and stretched like a cat waking up from a satisfying nap and her eyes slowly opened up, her mouth ready to form a smile. When she saw his face, she stilled and quickly looked around the room in old reflex to assess any threats before settling down on Jane.

"What's wrong?" she asked with raspy voice which was surprisingly alert. Her dark eyes were clear from sleep and her obvious worry swam at the front.

Jane sighed and nuzzled closer as he tried to hide his eyes while confirming that Lisbon indeed was alive and well.

"Had a bad nightmare," Jane whispered into her hair.

"Want to talk about it?" Lisbon asked calmly although inside her unrest was slowly stirring. Jane hadn't had really bad nightmares for some time now and she could tell he was seriously upset about this one. However knowing him, it would be an uphill struggle to get him to divulge all the details if he didn't want to, although she was quite familiar with most of his nightmares by now.

Jane held her tightly, drawing comfort from her warm presence while he thought about his response. How could he tell her what he had done and how afraid all of the sudden he was of himself. Had he suppressed something that was surfacing or was this some residual worry for Lisbon and his subconscious was just using Red John as the most easily accessible monster? He needed more time to think about this and dissect his own brain.

"I will tell you about it, but maybe later," Jane's response came muffled by her hair.

Lisbon acknowledged this by a strong squeeze and a quick kiss on his cheek. Then she untangled herself from Jane and made her way to the shower leaving him lounging in the bed, looking at her retreating back.

"I know you are staring," Lisbon threw over her shoulder while a mild blush rose on her cheeks. She still hadn't gotten used to Jane's admiring gaze and in private he definitely showed his appreciation very openly.

"Yes, I am," came Jane's reply with the large grin evident in his voice.

Lisbon didn't turn around but entered the bathroom while leaving the door ajar as an invitation. She was rattled more than she wanted to admit and wanted to give Jane the option to come to her for comfort as she knew if she pressed or forced him in anyway the stubborn man would do exactly opposite. She sighed in frustration but then heard the bathroom door click shut and strong arms encircled her from behind.

She looked into the mirror to see Jane gloriously naked with a mischievous glint in his eyes although vulnerability was lurking in the shadows.

"Shall we save on the water bill, dear?" he asked before marching laughing Lisbon to the shower cubicle and closed the door to Lisbon's giggles. They were going to be late for work. Again.

XXX

Jane was pottering about in the kitchen, while Lisbon was getting ready for work. He had thrown his suit on and combed his wet curls with his fingers and was ready to go whereas Lisbon took longer. Jane had been delighted to learn that the tough, no nonsense Agent Lisbon was as girly as the next woman when it came to getting ready in the mornings.

He fought with the temptation of dragging her back to bed every morning as she stood in her underwear contemplating what to wear. Her complete lack of understanding how gorgeous she looked just added to the allure and sometimes Jane just gave in. But not today.

Today he was glad that it was their usual routine that gave him space so that he didn't need to withdraw from Lisbon to be able to focus. He was still rattled by the nightmare and the feelings it had raised and he wanted to lie down on his sofa at the FBI office and mull over the meaning of it all.

He absent mindedly brewed his tea and prepared Lisbon's coffee and rummaged around in the cupboard to find two edible muffins. They didn't really have time to sit down as they were going to be late as Lisbon had pointed out to him already twice. Although she had been smiling at the time, Jane fondly mused.

XXX

Lisbon appeared in the kitchen to find Jane staring at a muffin with a slight smile on his face. At least he seemed to have recovered whatever it had been his brain had cooked together this time.

He turned as she approached handing over her coffee and a muffin.

"I can drive while you have your breakfast," Jane innocently offered.

Lisbon snorted in amusement. He never gave up.

"I know how you drive and I'm quite capable of eating while driving thank you very much," Lisbon answered as usual to the request.

Jane just smiled and opened the door for her and they trekked through the little garden to her car. The domesticity of it all still made her breath catch in her throat and she did a quick turn, surprising Jane and kissed him quickly.

"Thank you," she whispered before continuing towards the car.

Jane was momentarily stunned as Lisbon was not one for public displays of affection, not even in such a secluded place as this little garden. It made him feel better though as there was no way he could ever hurt her, the dream must have been just a really vivid nightmare, made up of randomly firing neurons in his brain.

His step was springier and lighter as he followed Lisbon down to the car and he smiled widely back at Lisbon as he strapped himself in.

XXX

The binoculars were lowered down once the vehicle disappeared from view. Fingers tapped a number onto a cell phone and when the connection was made a voice uttered: "The memory consolidation seems to be finally taking hold."

"Continue."

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews and followings of the story! My mind works in weird ways so I hope this keeps you entertained and guessing.

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

The day was slow and Lisbon sighed deeply as she delved into her high stack of paperwork. She checked and filled in everything carefully remembering to sign every single line that glared at her emptily, but her mind was trying to escape and focusing was becoming difficult. She finally gave in and stretched her back at her desk and glanced at Jane napping on his couch.

The man looked as peaceful as ever, but Lisbon could see the tightness around his eyes and the slight frown on his forehead. Something was definitely keeping him occupied and it didn't take a genius to figure out what that might be.

She had dragged him out for lunch and he had made the effort of concentrating on her but his mind was clearly somewhere else although he had been almost in continuous physical contact with her, whether it was a hand against the small of her back or a hand resting on her shoulder where they were sitting on a bench. He was very tactile person, but this was excessive even for him.

Lisbon frowned as she studied Jane. She would make the effort of getting the story of this nightmare out of him as a full day of rumination was more than enough, even for him. This was what obsessing about Red John for 10 years had done; it was very difficult for him to let go of his previous modes of thinking and behavior.

She looked back at her desk and the papers in the tidy stacks and returned to her task. Only few more hours of this…

XXX

Jane was lying on his couch, his eyes closed trying to relax and sink into the soft leather surrounding him. He would succeed for a while, before noticing that he had tensed up again. Most annoying.

He was also aware of Lisbon's sporadic scrutiny and knew that he better get his story straight as she was expecting to hear what was bothering him this much. He would also dearly like to know what was going on in his subconscious.

He remembered the details of the window in Lisbon's bedroom and the curtains she had and the color of the sun and the whiteness of Lisbon's skin and above anything else, he remembered the emotions; contentment, satisfaction, accomplishment and happiness. It still felt like a memory with all the details rather than a dream.

He could smell the coppery smell of fresh blood and feel the sticky feeling of drying blood on his fingertips from drawing the smiley face. It made him sick and it made him afraid.

He still wasn't any closer to figuring out why this dream, why now and was trying to convince himself that maybe it was just once off and he shouldn't worry about it so much. Talking with Lisbon might help.

XXX

As the day light started to fade they finally made their way home. They didn't talk that much, but took comfort from the silence and each other. Once they stepped into Lisbon's house, Jane finally gave in to his growing need to touch Lisbon, to be anchored by her, and he gathered her in his arms.

Neither said anything, just enjoying the closeness until Lisbon's stomach gave a loud growl.

"You need feeding woman," Jane commented with a crooked smile and let her go.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Lisbon retorted back and turned around to shrug off her jacket and take off her shoes.

Jane took off his jacket and let if fall on a chair next to the door and started rolling up his sleeves while walking to the kitchen. Cooking was usually his chore as Lisbon's skills in the kitchen were abysmal and he had quickly learned to usher her out if they wanted the fire alarm not go off.

He liked cooking, it relaxed him and it brought him satisfaction knowing that he was looking after Lisbon. Until he recognized the feeling from his dream and almost turned to the phone to call for take away. However, he forced himself to go through the routine of getting the ingredients for the pasta and started preparing their meal while trying to separate the feelings of a dream from the reality.

XXX

Lisbon in the meantime had flopped on the sofa, put her feet up and observed Jane going through the motions of cooking. He had hesitated first, but then determinedly continued. Lisbon was getting more and more curious what was going on. But food first as neither of them was very good conversationalist with an empty stomach these days.

XXX

Once the dinner had been cleared away, Lisbon leaned against the kitchen counter her arms crossed and her left eyebrow raised.

"Do you feel like talking about it?" she asked gently, trying to gauge if he was ready to talk.

Jane finished drying his hands on the kitchen towel and let it drop, keeping his eyes on the towel, his shoulders hunched. He sighed and lifted his head to look at Lisbon.

"I promised not keep secrets, but this is really difficult to talk about. It's not like my usual nightmares," he said his vulnerability skipping on the surface of his eyes.

"We'll sort it out as we always do," was Lisbon's reply and she offered him her hand and led him to the sofa.

Jane sat down in the corner and lifted his arm to invite Lisbon to lean against his chest. She didn't take the invitation, but sat down very close to him so that she could see his face in the dim lighting in the living room.

She silently waited while Jane was getting his thoughts together and then he started talking.

XXX

Jane decided to just describe the dream with all the details without any attempt at deciphering it. He could tell from Lisbon's face that she was worried and by the time he had finished the color had drained from her face. He fell silent and looked down as he couldn't bear the look in Lisbon's eyes that she surely must have after his confession. It's not every day you dream about killing the love of your life and feel satisfied and content about it.

Lisbon gently touched his hand to make him look up. She was clearly worried but not visibly upset or disgusted and Jane felt a small weight lift from his shoulders.

"It was just a dream Jane," she said quietly but firmly, "I don't believe you could ever physically hurt me."

"Yes, it's upsetting but considering how long you have had only space for Red John and the cases in your head, it's surprising that you haven't had these kind of dreams before," she continued.

"And obviously I'm the most logical target as I'm the closest person to you," she softly said.

Jane couldn't deny the logic of her argument but still felt uneasy about the rich detail of the dream, however he didn't want to continue to pick apart and psychoanalyze his dream when he knew it would only distress Lisbon.

He squeezed her hand and gave her a weak smile.

"I still don't like it that I can hurt you like that in my dreams," he said to which Lisbon smiled.

"I'm not upset by a dream you misbehaving," she answered.

Misbehaving wasn't quite the word Jane would have used, but he gave up as there wasn't anything gained by splitting hairs over terminology.

"Let's go to bed," Lisbon said yawning and stood up.

"Wake me up if you have the dream again," she demanded sleepily as they climbed the stairs and just because she was ready to drop, Jane got away by not answering, which suited him fine as he didn't want to lie to her.

XXX

Lisbon was softly breathing in deep sleep next to him as he lied on his back staring at the ceiling. He didn't want to fall asleep and the idea of not sleeping wasn't unappealing as he was used to insomnia. He had been getting used to a full night's sleep though so it might make him a bit more tired than the usual.

He shuffled to get comfortable in the soft bed and started rummaging around in his memory palace to occupy himself, but before long his eye lids were drooping and his breathing slowed down and in the silence of the night sleep took over.

XXX

He found himself next to the cool window again, watching at the predawn clouds outside. He felt the same deep warmth of content and satisfaction and then remembered that he had been here before.

"Hmm, just a weird case of déjà vu," he thought before turning to go back to bed and when he saw Lisbon, slaughtered and helpless lying under the smiley face, this time her blood running down her recently cut throat, he ran to the bed and tried to stem the bleeding. However his hands wouldn't obey him, instead of trying to help and stem the bleeding his fingers were digging deeper into the wound, widening it as his head was filled with glee.

He tried to stop, tried in horror to fight the feelings, tried to shout and felt something hard hitting him in the chest and he woke up to find a carefully blank looking Lisbon a hand on her throat trying to breathe calmly.

Jane panicked and sat up hyperventilating reaching for Lisbon, feeling a deep need to make sure she was real. Lisbon put a hand out against his chest, which stopped him in his tracks, his eyes wide and breathing ragged.

"I'm okay," Lisbon rasped, "a bit out of breath."

"You have surprisingly strong grip in your dream," she continued while massaging her throat.

Jane couldn't stop the torrent of words that came out of his mouth, which were a jumble of apologies injected into the description of the dream. He hugged himself as he was rocking back and forth practically wailing with terror of what he had done.

Lisbon scooted closer and had to tightly hug him to her chest before he stopped struggling and fell silent.

"I suppose we should do something about your dreams," came her dry comment.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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><p>Jane was almost catatonic and Lisbon found it difficult to establish any kind of contact with him and ended up just holding him tightly. She was more shaken than she looked as she carefully tried to maintain a neutral look for Jane's benefit. To her surprise she wasn't afraid of Jane, she was more worried about his mental state as this was the worst she had ever seen him. To her, this looked way more excessive response than what the situation warranted.<p>

Yes, it had been scary to wake up to find Jane strangling her, but he had clearly been asleep and once he had been woken up by her punch, he had immediately been lucid and completely in control of himself and the horror in his eyes was enough to convince her that the strangling hadn't been intentional. Like she would ever believe that he would be capable of hurting her.

However they really needed to sort out Jane's head as this was going to destroy him before any damage came to her. That she was sure about.

Jane was finally quieting down and seemed to only be shaking now as he clung to Lisbon. She looked down at him while stroking his back with her hand.

"Jane? Jane, look at me," she gently said trying to coax him to lift his face. Jane just shook his head.

"This is not your fault. You are not responsible what happens in your dream," Lisbon tried again.

"It is my fault. It's all my fault," came Jane's mumbled response. Lisbon didn't even try to talk him out of it, but changed tactics.

"Well, what are you going to do about it?" she asked.

Jane stilled, his breathing calming down as he considering this question that came completely out of the blue. Lisbon stayed silent and waited for his response. Jane finally straightened a bit and looked at her.

His eyes were brimming with tears and horror, his self-loathing was coming off in waves, but he made an effort to seriously consider the question as Lisbon had hoped he would. It would side track his mind to consider practical ways of dealing with this instead of wallowing in the horror of the hypothetical.

"Sleep in a different room?" he said a question in his voice.

"Hmm," Lisbon answered non-committedly.

"Sleep only 90 min before waking up," he said next with a slight hesitation.

"That would keep me from going into deep sleep," he said with more conviction.

"That might work," Lisbon agreed as she tried to keep him going.

"I can try to achieve lucid dreaming so I can control the dream," was his next suggestion as he was gathering steam and becoming calmer.

"I can re-visit self-hypnosis and make myself to dream other things," Jane said next as he looked at Lisbon with a small hopeful look.

"Is that possible?" Lisbon asked with her usual skepticism, which clearly brought comfort for Jane as he started explaining the different techniques he had used in the past. When he came to the reason why he had used them, he became serious.

"I had to establish coping mechanisms to survive in the mental hospital after my family died and eventually to be able to cope with the outside world when I was released," he quietly said.

Lisbon hugged him fiercely.

"Now that you are aware what you can do, I'm sure you will be able to beat this," she said.

XXX

After Lisbon had gotten through to him and helped him to focus and find solutions to the present situation, he felt calmer although he was still very upset what had happened.

He was in awe of this woman, who after everything didn't flinch when she looked at him and tried to make him feel better instead of kicking his ass and getting him committed to a mental hospital again.

"I want to sleep on the couch," he said carefully, "Just in case."

Lisbon looked at him for some time until she made up her mind.

"Only tonight," she said.

"Once you have control over your dream-scape, you will be back here," she said sternly.

Jane couldn't do anything else than hug her and just hold her for a long time. He didn't deserve this amazing, understanding woman, but here she was anyway. He couldn't be luckier and he would do everything he could to keep her safe and if that meant going to war with his subconscious then that would be what he would do.

He inhaled her scent and enjoyed her petite, warm body against his and let it calm him down. Eventually he let her go and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you," he whispered and tried to put everything he felt into those words.

Lisbon just smiled and got out of the bed, walking towards the guest bedroom and waving him to follow. Jane followed although he would have been more comfortable with sleeping downstairs instead of next door but that would do tonight as he was planning to start on countermeasures straight away.

"Are you sure the alarm won't disturb you if I set it for every 90 minutes?" Jane asked as he fiddled with his phone.

"I'll be fine," Lisbon answered, satisfied that Jane seemed to have overcome the initial horror and helplessness.

"You do what's necessary," she continued and leaned down to kiss him gently.

"Goodnight," she said before leaving the room and closing the door behind her leaving Jane to lie on the bed, feeling guilty again.

He set his alarm and tried to relax, but didn't expect to fall asleep. If he never slept again, it would be fine by him.

XXX

The dark figure standing next to the trees on a small hill some way from Lisbon's house, lifted a cell phone to make a call.

"He's definitely reacting, but not in the way we expected," the man in dark clothes said.

"I don't care how he's reacting as the main thing is that it's working," came the answer.

"There is something else interfering with the process and it's possible that the outcome is not what you wanted," he tried.

"Continue," came terse answer and the line went dead.

The man sighed and put the phone away. There was nothing else to do than observe anyway as the process was started several months ago and there was no way of guiding its course now. It was interesting to note that the strangling had been completely unexpected as it had never been part of the plan. He idly wondered where that had come from. It was unknown what Lisbon and Jane had been talking about, but the fact that Jane was now in a different room and clearly refused to sleep, meant that there was no point in staying. Better to come back tonight.

The man carefully packed the binoculars and as had been his custom for the past two months, brushed away all the footprints and signs of anyone ever having been there.

Although the effect on Jane apparently was unexpected, it still filled him with anticipation.

Finally Patrick Jane was getting what he deserved and there was no way he could weasel his way out of it.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I'm glad that people find this interesting and are taking the time to read/review/favorite. Let's continue the story.

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Lisbon was sitting on a bench in a small park to clear her head. She was cradling a cup of black strong coffee and just the aroma was enough to untangle some of the tightness from her shoulders. She had left the FBI office and decided to walk a bit further away where she had seen a small coffee shop in a street corner as they had once driven past it. It had looked small and a bit shabby but it had been full of people and a continuous stream of coffee deprived customers had been entering and exiting its doors. And finally today she had given in for her need of privacy, a bit of fresh air and a good cup of coffee.

When she had gathered her jacket and put in on, Jane had raised an eyebrow from his sofa and made a move to get up, however Lisbon had minutely shaken her head and he had sunk back into it. As she left her desk she generally announced her intent on taking a small break to which Cho had just simply nodded and Wylie was oblivious to the world as his computer held his focus. Lisbon was grateful that Jane didn't make a fuss but seemed to understand her need for space.

The park was small, but busy with people taking coffee breaks, students lounging on the grass studying and small children running around in the sunlight. It was a welcome breath of normality and she took a moment to enjoy it. She couldn't see herself anymore as the other people, she had long ago passed the boundary of what might be called a normal life. It had brought Patrick Jane into her life though and for that she was grateful.

He was one of the reasons why she needed to be alone for a while. When they were off duty, she continuously kept a close eye on him, worrying, looking for signs even though she didn't know what signs those might be. When they were at work, she could trust Cho to look after Jane and intervene if he happened to do something in his sleep even though they hadn't told him what was going on.

Since that night when Jane had tried to strangle her, he had stayed in the guest bedroom. He had thrown everything he knew into controlling his dreams and so far he had been successful. He looked very tired as he kept to his interrupted sleep pattern but it wasn't anything he hadn't done before. Jane otherwise kept to his usual schedule of coming to work with her, but more often than not, didn't come to the field anymore, but stayed on his couch giving his insights from the depth of the soft leather.

Red John had made all of them paranoid. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else going on, but Red John was dead. That knowledge didn't do much to alleviate her worries, but there was nothing tangible to cling onto so she made herself discard all the thoughts of conspiracies.

She continued to sip her coffee and to soak up the sun while she tried to relax and enjoy this moment of peace as she was sure it wouldn't last for long.

XXX

Cho kept a careful eye on Jane as Lisbon left the floor. There was something going on with them, but he couldn't quite figure out what. Jane looked like he had when he had first started working at CBI, like he hadn't been sleeping and Lisbon looked worried all the time although she tried to hide it. Cho saw straight through her after all these years though.

"You look tired," he said when Jane noticed him watching.

"Meh, bad dreams, you know how it gets," Jane answered while he shrugged his shoulders. His answer surprised Cho, he had expected the usual flippant answer from him.

Cho stopped writing and stared at the man on the sofa until he started squirming under his gaze.

"Stop it Cho," he said after a while and Cho smiled inside; he still could make the overtly confident Jane uncomfortable.

"Want to share?" Cho asked.

Jane stopped fidgeting and carefully didn't look at him. So it was something bad.

"Not really," came his answer.

"Okay," Cho said and went back to his paperwork. He knew that the more he pushed, the more Jane would stubbornly withhold. When he wanted to share, he would talk. He had made it clear that he was willing to listen and now the ball was in Jane's court.

When Lisbon returned to the office, it was to find Abbott waiting for her to start briefing the team about the next case.

XXX

The case had taken them out of state and proven to be more complicated that they originally thought. They had been on it now for almost a week and this was their first good lead, hence the whole team had packed up and stayed the night in the hotel, close to the local FBI office. Tomorrow morning they would hopefully make the arrest.

Lisbon and Fischer were sharing a room, while Cho and Wiley shared another. To Cho's surprise Jane had declined to share the room with him and had paid for a single room for himself leaving Abbott alone in the third room.

Abbott had expressed his puzzlement as well and Jane had weakly given an excuse of having problems sleeping and not wanting to disturb anyone. Cho had turned to Lisbon, but she had looked torn rather than surprised. He really needed to get to the bottom of what was bothering those two.

The team was exhausted and everybody agreed to go straight to bed and get up early in the morning to finish the case. Cho stayed back and was glad to see Lisbon also linger in the lobby for a moment. The rest of the team headed to their rooms, including Jane who looked like he was about to collapse. He didn't even notice that Lisbon hadn't followed them.

"What's going on?" Cho asked when they were alone.

"Jane has been having really bad nightmares," Lisbon answered. Cho waited for her to continue as he didn't believe that was the whole story.

"I'll tell you when we get back home," she mumbled and suddenly all strength seem to go out of her as her shoulders sagged and her eyes became dull with tiredness.

"I need to talk to someone but let's finish this case first," she quietly said and looked at Cho who nodded gravely and gently took her arm and escorted her to her room as he continued to his own.

"Goodnight," Lisbon said and slipped in through the door as Cho nodded and opened his own door. Wiley was fast asleep already and Cho quickly got ready for bed. He was ready to leave the questions unanswered for now, but was expecting the full story once this case was over. Lisbon knew that he would do anything to help them and was hoping that she would trust him like she used to.

XXX

Lisbon woke up in the darkness and was disorientated first, but when she heard the screams coming from outside she bolted upright to find Fischer already armed and ready to run out of their room. They weren't the only ones as also Cho and Abbott were emerging, their guns drawn. Wiley was still in bed, sitting up looking confused as Cho closed the door behind him. As they made their way into the lobby where the screaming was coming from, Lisbon's mind distantly took note of how ridiculous they looked; Abbott in his stripy pyjamas, Cho in boxers and a white T-shirt, Fischer in her silky night dress and Lisbon in her own over-sized T-shirt that came down to her knees and only her panties underneath. And all of them holding guns. Her mind was silently giggling at the sight and she had to suppress the manic giggles surfacing.

They burst out into the lobby, guns drawn, gaze sweeping the scene making instant threat assessment and they all came to a sudden stop.

Jane was standing in the middle of the lobby, wearing his slacks and shirt but barefoot, his eyes closed and breathing deeply. He was holding a knife that had slick blood glistening on it and was facing a maid who was screaming in horror, holding her arm close to her chest while the blood kept dripping between her fingers. The hotel clerk from the counter was trying to talk to Jane.

Cho glanced at Lisbon who seemed to have frozen on the spot.

"Bad nightmares?" he asked quietly as he put his weapon away and approached Jane carefully.

Fischer had taken hold of the maid and was leading her slowly away while calling an ambulance. Abbott and Lisbon had both lowered their guns and Abbott was looking shocked. Lisbon finally shook herself and took a deep breath as she approached Jane.

"Jane, wake up," Cho was saying without much effect as Lisbon got closer. He was standing, fast asleep, a bloody knife in his hand, and not moving or making any signs that he had heard Cho.

"Let me," Lisbon said as she put her hand on Cho's arm. He nodded warily and stepped back.

"Jane, put the knife down," Lisbon said to which Jane didn't respond.

"Cho, can you go and get his phone and bring it to me," she said when nothing she tried made Jane respond. She didn't want to get any closer as the memory of his fingers against her throat was still fresh, but she had another idea that didn't require her to get any closer and would hopefully wake Jane up.

Cho didn't question her and took off to find Jane's phone.

"What's going on Agent Lisbon," Abbott asked and Lisbon once again had to contain her hysterical giggles at the sight of her supervisor in his pj's asking questions as usual. Her mind was definitely being stretched to its breaking point.

"He has been having bad nightmares and sleepwalking in the past few weeks," Lisbon explained and saw Cho coming back with a phone in his hand. Without any further explanations she asked Cho, "Has he set the alarm?"

"No," Cho answered as he looked at the phone.

"Damn, that's it," Lisbon said to herself making both Cho and Abbott look like they wanted more details. She didn't give them the time to come up with questions.

"Set the alarm for now," Lisbon instructed Cho as she kept close to Jane in case he started moving.

Cho complied and after few seconds, the alarm went off and it immediately had an effect on Jane. His eyes opened and when he saw Lisbon, he started to smile but seemed to then realize that this wasn't their bedroom and once he saw what was in his hand, he reflectively threw it away from him. He looked at Lisbon in terror and then looked down at his hands that had specks of blood on them. He eyes widened and he started hyperventilating, a deep keening escaping his mouth.

Lisbon stepped forward, now that he was awake and enveloped him in a tight hug, not caring who saw them.

"I'm okay," she whispered to his ear as she stroked his back trying to calm him down. She led him to sit down on a couch next to the wall, shielded partly by a large palm tree to give a little bit of privacy. She continued to talk to him, murmuring meaningless words, repeating that everything was okay as she held him close to her.

Abbot stared at them, then shook his head and went to Cho.

"Do you know what's going on?" he asked the stoic agent, who looked as confused as he felt.

"Lisbon said he had nightmares," was Cho's only answer.

"Well, this is a bit more serious," Abbott answered drily, "but let's calm down the locals first and talk to that poor maid."

XXX

In the end the story the two men managed to put together from the maid's and the clerk's statements was that Jane had appeared in the lobby the knife in his hand, totally unresponsive. Like sleepwalking had both the maid and the clerk said. When the maid approached asking if he required assistance, he had slashed her with the knife and just stood there as the maid screamed. Then the rest of team had made their entrance.

XXX

While Cho and Abbott were trying to piece the story together, Lisbon managed to calm Jane down to a level that he was able to talk. He was horrified at what he had done and kept checking Lisbon to make sure that he hadn't hurt her. He didn't want to let go of her hand either, like he wanted to make sure that she was physically there, anchoring him. He felt overwhelmed by horror and guilt and at the same time he felt the residue of joy and enjoyment, which were making him retch. At this point Lisbon decided to take him back to his room, but Jane didn't want to go. He didn't want to be alone, to be allowed to hurt people and he most definitely didn't want to be in a place where he could fall asleep by accident. He agreed to go to the bathroom to wash his hands as just the mere specks of blood were enough to make him retch.

When Cho and Abbott returned with Fischer they moved to the bar, although the bartender was looking at Jane warily and at the rest of them in confusion as they were still wearing their sleeping gear. Abbott waved at his hand holding the FBI badge that he had grabbed with his gun and the bartender finally made them coffee while casting glances at them while polishing the glasses. They all wanted to have something stronger, but it was too late or early depending how one thought about 4 am in the morning.

"The maid is okay, it was just superficial laceration," Fischer said after a while.

"The hotel manager is also pacified," Abbott added.

"Would you mind telling me what exactly is going on?" he continued looking at Lisbon and Jane.

Lisbon looked at Jane sitting next to her and he gave a little nod in consent, but didn't look up from staring at his hand in Lisbon's. Lisbon proceeded to tell about his nightmares leaving nothing out. When she was describing waking up to Jane strangling her, Abbott's and Cho's eyes widened and Jane kept his eyes downcast, however Lisbon held his hand tightly. When she was finished the other two men and Fischer were silent.

"Did something happen to trigger this?" Abbott asked.

"Has somebody been following you, harassing you?" asked Cho immediately thinking that there must be something else as he knew what Jane had gone through in the past, but hadn't had anything like this happen before.

Jane finally looked at the others and now they clearly saw the harrowing look in his tired, red rimmed eyes.

"Nothing," he said, "I can't remember anything out of the ordinary happening and haven't seen anybody who would make me suspicious," he continued resignedly.

"I have been sleeping in 90 minute cycles to stop myself getting into deep sleep and REM phase so I wouldn't dream, but I was so tired today that I forgot to set the alarm," Jane explained.

"We'll look into this and get you to see a doctor once back home," Abbott said leaving no space for arguments.

"Now though we might as well try to get what little sleep is left, make the arrest early and get home," he continued getting down from the bar stool.

"I'm not comfortable in public wearing only my pj's," he said as he made his way back to the stairs. Lisbon started yawning as well now the adrenaline was wearing off.

"You go," Jane said as he stroked her hair, "you must be exhausted."

"No, I'll stay with you," Lisbon stubbornly said, getting ready to order more coffee to stay awake.

"I'll stay with him," said Cho, "you go back to bed." He looked at himself and continued, "I'll just get some trousers on first."

Lisbon was so tired that after Jane insisted that she go back to bed, she gave up only waiting for Cho to return having dressed more appropriately.

Lisbon hugged Jane who looked like a lost child and kissed him gently.

"We will be fine," she whispered again before leaving the two men in an empty bar at four in the morning. She just hoped that those words wouldn't make her into a liar.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The team made a successful arrest and the case was closed by the evening. They were all exhausted by the lack of sleep and the worry about one of their own as they piled into their cars to head back home.

Jane was quiet and withdrawn, still trying to process the fact that he had hurt that poor woman at the hotel. He was trying to focus on the past months to find if there had been anything unusual that would have made him not to pay attention at the time, but now taking the new situation into account might be significant. He came up with nothing and it was deeply worrying. He had long ago made his peace with insomnia and the nightmares as there were plenty of material in his past, but he had never before acted out his dreams or sleepwalked. There must be a reason for that and his thoughts entered back into the vicious circle of trying to find reason where there was none to be had.

Lisbon was sitting in the front while Cho was driving, Abbott, Fischer and Wiley occupying the other car. She kept glancing at Jane who was sitting in the back, deeply in his thoughts but visibly upset. She was feeling reassured by that as it meant that Jane was willing for her and Cho see how this was affecting him and not trying to hide it as was his usual habit.

"How are you holding up?" asked Cho quietly as he glanced in the mirror at Jane and then turned to look at Lisbon. She looked exhausted with dark rings under her eyes, but at the same time highly wired and the amount of coffee she had been drinking didn't help.

"I'm tired," she confessed rubbing her eyes, "we need to find a doctor who can keep this confidential, but who also understands his past," she continued.

"FBI must have someone with a clearance and the experience dealing with trauma," Cho said.

"We'll also need to find someone that he trusts and is willing to talk to," Lisbon continued, "and that might be difficult."

"We'll cross that bridge once we get there," Cho answered, "at least we have a clear plan now."

"Get you in a hotel so you can sleep safely, find a doctor for Jane and make him talk," he continued.

Lisbon looked up sharply.

"I can't leave him alone," she whispered vehemently as she glanced at Jane to see if he had heard. He was totally oblivious to his surroundings as he stared out of the window.

"It's not safe for you to sleep in the same house than him and you clearly need sleep," Cho said looking at her making his voice to match the serious expression on his face.

"I'll sleep few hours now and then stake out your house to observe him overnight," he continued quietly.

"That way I can make sure that he doesn't leave the house and that he isn't at danger from himself without him knowing that somebody is keeping an eye on him."

"That also leaves you a bit more refreshed and gives you time to find a doctor for him," Cho concluded.

Lisbon looked at him torn between the options as she really didn't want to leave Jane alone. However maybe that would clarify the situation and show whether it was her presence that was making it worse or whether it wouldn't make any difference. Also there was a small voice in the back of her head reminding her that if Jane could attack a stranger in his sleep, there were no guarantees that he wouldn't attack her again.

She was still pondering at the options in the silence of the car as they pulled over for a quick break. Cho and Wiley filled the tanks of the cars while Lisbon and Abbott collected food for them all while Fischer and Jane stayed put. Once they headed back to the cars, Lisbon climbed in the back and offered the food to Cho at the front. Cho nodded at her and took them back to the road again while Lisbon strapped herself in.

She reached out for Jane's hand and found it cold and clammy, but the physical contact made him surface from his dark thoughts.

"I can't find anything," he said in a rough voice, his eyes pleading Lisbon to believe him.

"It's okay, we'll find something," Lisbon answered while stroking his hand. She lifted her left hand to stroke his stubbled cheek, slowly rubbing with her thumb and Jane closed his eyes leaning into her touch. They all stayed quiet during the rest of the journey, but it was comfortable and they all could relax a little. When they were nearing home Jane spoke up.

"I think Cho is right, you should stay in a hotel tonight," he said having heard what they had discussed before.

Lisbon started to protest but Jane lifted a finger on her lips.

"You need to rest and I'm afraid that I will hurt you if you stay with me," he said finding it difficult to admit that he could hurt her.

Cho looked at them in the mirror and seeing Lisbon's deflated look, he took a new turn and drove them towards a local hotel. Once they were parked outside, Lisbon looked at Jane, desperation in her eyes.

"We need to get to the bottom of this soon," she said as she released her seatbelt and scooted closer to Jane, who willingly lifted his arm and held her close. Once again he was inhaling her scent and drawing comfort from it.

"You find someone you think will help and I'll talk to them," Jane said into her hair, putting his trust completely in her hands. She looked up surprised and found Jane smiling drily.

"I want to put this in our past as soon as possible," he said quietly as he lowered his face and kissed Lisbon briefly while Cho was staring out of the window. Lisbon was encouraged by his determination and grabbed her bag and left the car walking into the hotel.

"Call me if you need me," she called out meaning both Cho and Jane, who both waved their hands and took off.

XXX

"Are you going to be okay for few hours? Cho asked as he looked at Jane in the mirror.

"Yes, Cho, I will be fine," Jane replied distractedly.

"I don't think I will be doing much sleeping anyway," he continued.

"You won't notice when I'm around. I won't disturb you unless you leave the house or start brandishing a knife again," Cho said as he turned down towards Lisbon's house.

Jane got out of the car and entered the house as Cho left to get some sleep before returning to keep an eye on him. He wasn't as bothered about that as he should have been and at this point he was willing to do anything to keep Lisbon safe and if that included Cho observing him sitting and reading, then that was it. He was glad Cho hadn't offered to stay with him inside, he had understood that Jane needed some space and he could keep an eye on him as effectively and safely from outside.

Jane went in and locked the door carefully. He took his bag upstairs and unpacked everything and then he walked around the house to make sure that all the windows and doors were locked. Just in case if he fell asleep and took off again, hopefully the locked door would stop him.

XXX

Cho returned few hours later, dressed in black and scouting the surrounding area to find a good spot to keep an eye on the house, but not that visible as he didn't want to arouse suspicion from the neighbours or from random people walking their dogs. Eventually he found a nice spot on top of a slope with lots of trees and bushes that should keep him hidden. He parked his car a bit further down on the street where it looked less out of place and walked with his backpack back to the slope. He looked around and finally settled on a spot quite deep in the woods, but still giving him a good view of the house. With binoculars he could clearly see Jane making tea and taking it back to the living room sitting down on a couch. This should do it.

He settled in comfortably and was sitting quietly on the ground leaning against a tree, Jane visible in the light of the window as it was getting darker. He hadn't been bothered by anyone and nobody had called the police to come and ask why he was sitting in the dark stalking this particular house.

So when he heard a car approaching with lights off, he was surprised. He kept still and quiet and waited. A quick look at Jane told him that the man was still sitting on the couch, reading this time, nothing moving around the house and nobody approaching.

The car came to a stop and silence returned to be interrupted only by the muffled sounds of somebody carefully opening and closing the door. After few moments Cho could hear soft footsteps approaching him and he tensed, but the footsteps never reached his location. The distant streetlights gave enough illumination for Cho to see a dark figure who took out binoculars from its coat pockets. To his surprise the figure was looking at Lisbon's house and seemed to make himself comfortable for longer stay.

Cho stayed still and observed the dark figure carefully while keeping an eye on Jane. He decided not to reveal himself, at least not yet as this was much unexpected and maybe he could learn something about why the man was keeping Jane under surveillance.

And so the night continued; a mysterious man observing Jane while Cho observed him.

**TBC **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thank you for your patience. I'm sorry I disappeared for a while, but job demanded all available daylight hours of the day and then some.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

It was well past midnight when the dim light showed Jane falling asleep on the sofa. He was still sitting upright in vain attempt to stay awake, but the expression on his face exposed the deep sleep he had entered.

The man on the hill continued to watch, occasionally writing on a small pad. He didn't seem to be aware of Cho who was deeper into the woods. Cho kept quiet and still, dividing his attention between Jane and this new figure. He didn't announce himself as he wanted to see exactly what was going on and hoped that the figure would give some clues before morning came. Cho was getting quite stiff after staying still for so long, but he was hesitant to move as the sound might alert the other man, so he stayed glued to one spot.

Several hours went by and Jane was still fast asleep and it looked like nothing untoward was going to happen. Then Cho saw a small shudder go through Jane's form. His eyes were closed, but his muscles were twitching and it was clear even this far away that his body was rousing itself.

Jane sat up straight and stood up. His movements were perfectly normal and the only thing betraying his nocturnal nature was his tightly closed eyes and the lax expression on his face. He walked to the kitchen, opened a drawer and extracted a knife that he held carefully. The light spilling from living room was enough to dimly light up the kitchen so that Cho could see what was happening. Jane seemed to know exactly what he was after and where it was. After getting the knife Jane turned and walked towards the stairs and started ascending before disappearing from view.

The man on the hill was furiously writing on his little pad while keeping an eye on Jane's movements. Cho was hesitant for a second about what to do, but decided to let Jane's dream to play out as long as he didn't harm himself. They needed all the information they could get.

Jane appeared in the bedroom window, which was also visible from the slope. The streetlights provided enough light for them to see what Jane was doing. First Cho couldn't figure out what was going on. Jane wasn't holding the knife anymore, but was kneeling on the bed pushing down with his hands. It finally dawned on Cho that he was behaving like he was choking someone. After few moments, Jane turned and picked something up from the floor and the small glint told him that it was the knife. Jane turned back towards the bed and made slashing movements with his arm and then stood up and took few steps back revealing a disheveled bed with slashed pillow.

Jane lowered the knife out of sight and leaned down to touch the pillow before turning towards the wall and started to draw a smiley face with his fingers. He then returned next to the window, looking out as he leaned against the window frame and Cho could see a smile on his face although his eyes were still closed. After a while he turned back to the room and a large tremor could be seen on his back and he staggered back against the window frame.

Cho couldn't see his face until he turned sideways and found his eyes wide open and a look of pure horror and disgust on his face with guilt mixed in. Jane staggered out of the room and disappeared from the view. A light came on in the bathroom and it stayed on for some time before Jane returned to the sofa in the living room.

He sat down on it, his face in his hands and his shoulders shook as he sobbed. It tore Cho to pieces as he knew Jane needed help, but there was nothing he could do by going in now, he would be more helpful in trying to figure out the game of this mysterious scribbler who was still writing on his pad.

The morning wasn't far away and Jane hadn't moved from the sofa. He had been sitting on it for several hours now, staring at the wall not moving without any signs of him falling asleep again. Once the sky started to get pink, the mysterious man started packing things away before picking up his cell phone.

Cho perked up and strained his hearing, but the man was oblivious to his surroundings and spoke with normal volume.

"We are getting results," he announced and listened to the reply.

"He found a knife, used it in a manner of slashing a throat and drew a smiley face on the wall. Just like Red John," he continued which made Cho's blood run cold. What was going on here? Red John was dead and his associates dead, in prison or gone underground.

"I still don't know where the strangling is coming from and it might cause a problem," he said and answered to a question from the phone, "It deviates from Red John's MO as he didn't strangle his victims first and we need to get everything exactly right."

"I will come back tonight again to observe more and see if I can find a trigger for it, otherwise we might need to have him in for another session," he said and was seemingly dismissed as he then returned the phone into his pocket.

Cho didn't believe his ears. Somebody was definitely interfering with Jane, but how and why? He looked on as the man walked to his car and drove away. He would be back tonight so it was better to let him go and get ready to intercept him later. Cho felt that he first needed to talk to Lisbon and Abbott about this and then talk to Jane.

He turned his attention back to the house where Jane was still sitting silently on the sofa and decided to let him continue as it looked like he had found a way to stay awake and at the moment didn't seem to be in danger.

Cho finally moved and stretched his aching and stiff limbs and grumpily strolled away to his own car. He would need to get a shower, some breakfast and then he would meet with Lisbon and Abbott as they had agreed.

XXX

Jane sat still, breathing steadily and trying to maintain the focus on his breathing. He was still reeling from the night's dream, the same details, the same feelings over and over again. He dreaded the look on Lisbon's face when she saw what destruction he had managed to cause in the bedroom. He had to make sure that Cho kept Lisbon away as he was too dangerous. This thought made his insides twist painfully, but he had to finally accept that Lisbon wasn't safe around him. If she had been in the house, chances were high that there would have been a red smiley face on her bedroom wall and the news would have been full of stories about Red John's return. But he had killed Red John, he was sure of it. Wasn't he?

He violently brought his thoughts back and viciously concentrated on his breathing. Steadily in and out, think of nothing, just breathe. He made his fingers relax from the tight fists and continued to breathe.

XXX

Cho drove to the hotel after having had a quick shower. He had decided to have breakfast together with Lisbon as he had called her and Abbott and they had all agreed to meet in the hotel. That way Cho wouldn't need to repeat too many times what had happened.

He walked in to the hotel and made his way to Lisbon's room and found that Abbott had already arrived. They took one look at Cho's face and his grim expression before Abbott called room service to bring food up to the room as this was bound to be a discussion to be had in private.

"Is he okay?" was the first thing Lisbon asked as her eyes gave away the anxiety she was feeling.

"He was awake and sitting on the sofa when I left," Cho carefully answered, but Lisbon opened her mouth to demand more answers, however Abbott intervened.

"Let's eat something and then Cho can tell us what happened," he said as he looked at his two agents.

"Would you track this license plate first please?" Cho asked and handed a piece of paper to Abbott who raised his eyebrows in question, but got the phone out of his pocket and put the request in.

Cho chose his food and tucked in before Abbott joined him. Lisbon poured herself coffee but declined any other food. They ate for a while in silence and waited for Cho to get ready to talk. After he couldn't delay anymore, Cho sat up and looked at Lisbon and Abbott.

"We have a problem."

XXX

Cho told them every detail starting from arriving in the slope and leaving after the mysterious man had left.

"The license plate is his and just about the only thing I managed to get without being noticed," Cho said.

Lisbon looked shocked and hadn't said anything while Cho had been talking.

"Is Jane okay?" she whispered again.

"I believe he's very shaken," Cho offered as he didn't know how to explain how Jane had appeared.

Abbott looked thoughtful.

"This definitely confirms that somebody is tampering with him, but we don't know who, why or when this started," he said.

"I suggest we tell him everything and then I take him to see Dr. Carter who signed his psych evaluation. He seemed to get on with him," he continued.

Lisbon looked surprised.

"You found a psychiatrist that Jane could tolerate in the same room with him?" she asked.

"Before FBI would employ him, he had to go through evaluation and he managed to get through five doctors before agreeing to talk to Dr. Carter," Abbott answered.

"He knows his history and has a basic profile on him already, so hopefully he can make some sense what's being done to Jane," he continued.

Lisbon looked doubtful,l but agreed to the plan as it was the only one they could come up with. Now they just had to sell it to Jane.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: Thank you for all the reviews! It's good to know that people find the story still interesting.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

Abbott had called Dr. Carter explaining the situation and the urgency of it and the psychiatrist had immediately agreed to see Jane. Abbott and Cho would then go to the office to see what they could find out about Jane's mysterious stalker and to see if Wylie could pull up anything from the traffic cameras. That left Lisbon to go fetch Jane and sell the whole idea to him and she wasn't sure how she would succeed.

Lisbon was just about to step out of the hotel room when Cho stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Jane will be shaken," he said quietly.

"I don't think you will have any problems getting him to agree to this plan," he continued.

Lisbon frowned at him and nodded before closing the door behind her and making her way to her car in the car park. Now she was even more concerned. If Cho thought that Jane was breaking apart, it had to be something fairly obvious and if Jane had really showed his vulnerability, it could mean that there was a disaster waiting for her.

XXX

Jane was still sitting on the sofa, but his thoughts were calmer now. However it was only through his years of mental training that he managed not to break apart from the seams. He was still close, but for now he was keeping himself together.

Nightmares were nothing new to him, even Red John ones, but what made him so scared was the impression of being Red John. Always before he had had nightmares about people close to him being killed and of course finding his family in his dreams night after night had haunted him for a long time, but never before had it been him who had wielded the knife.

He had also always been totally confident that he couldn't intentionally harm Lisbon and then found out that he had tried to strangle her. That had shaken him more than he cared to think. He looked down at his hands, half expecting to see blood on them.

He hadn't told anyone that he had also started having flashbacks and sudden images and sounds, even in the broad daylight. He dismissed them as memories triggered by the nightmares and tried not to think about them. However it was getting more and more difficult, especially as every memory and sound was full of violence and he felt surrounded by a continuous nightmare.

He was still staring at his hands, deep in thought when the front door opened.

XXX

Lisbon drove home and parked the car. She walked through the small garden to the front door and opened it with trepidation, she had no idea what she would find.

It turned out to be a haggard and tired looking Jane with eyes red from crying staring at his hands on the sofa. The sound of her coming in made him jump and the haunted look in his eyes made Lisbon to quickly close the distance and reach out for him. To her surprise he shuffled backwards out of reach.

"Please, Theresa, you are not safe around me," he said with a scratchy voice, his eyes avoiding hers.

Lisbon sat down on the other end of the sofa to try to keep the agitated Jane calm.

"You are awake and I don't believe you can hurt me," she simply said.

XXX

Jane almost jumped out of his skin when Lisbon made a move to comfort him. Didn't the woman have any self-preservation? When she stopped, he relaxed a little and tried to concentrate on her voice and her strong belief that he wouldn't harm her as he didn't really trust himself anymore.

"I'm worried I'm losing my mind again," he finally whispered, still not looking at Lisbon.

"Why do you say that?" asked Lisbon.

Jane hesitantly explained the dream again and how it felt like he was Red John, how the other images and sounds were bleeding through even when he was awake. Then he felt Lisbon's hand in his and became completely still. He focused on the feel of her small, warm hand in his and tried to anchor himself on that feeling while the world around him spiraled into madness.

XXX

Lisbon was getting more and more concerned and when Jane finally confessed what he had been going through, she couldn't just sit there and do nothing. So she reached over to him and held his hand. When he didn't withdraw, she gently started stroking the skin in the back of his hand trying to convey her feelings and her support. When Jane finally looked up straight into her eyes, she felt warmth spreading through her; at least she was getting through to him and he seemed to find strength in her touch.

"I'm afraid," he said quietly as Lisbon carried on stroking his hand. At that confession she made up her mind. She slowly scooted over and gently gathered him in her arms and held him tightly. This time Jane allowed the contact and seemed to fold into her, all strength gone.

XXX

After some time, Lisbon spoke up still holding Jane while slowly stroking his hair.

"I have something to tell you," she started.

"Last night when Cho was outside, there was somebody else there too," she said.

Jane stilled and Lisbon continued to tell what had happened and how they were trying to find out who it had been and what was going on. That they suspected that somebody was tampering with Jane and by the sound of it had been keeping an eye on him ever since.

Jane stayed silent as he absorbed this information.

"I can't see when somebody would have had access to me to be able to do something like this and surely I would remember it," Jane finally said.

"We have no idea when it would have happened or what format it would have taken or even why it has been done, but that would explain a lot," Lisbon countered. Then she thought to just say it and get it out of the way.

"Dr. Carter is ready to work with you to try to figure out what has been done to you and how to stop it," she said trying to stay calm. The slow movement of her hand in Jane's hair focused and calmed her as well so she carried on while dreading Jane's answer.

After a long silence, Jane finally gave his answer.

"It think you are right," he said and shocked Lisbon to her boots. Jane really was intensely worried about his mental health, but at least he was being honest about it. And having gone through a trauma before, he recognized when he needed help and support to overcome what was happening now. And it was the threat that he had become to Lisbon that made him overcome his inherent suspicion of psychiatrists.

"He's waiting for you in his office if you feel like it," Lisbon said.

Jane finally sat up and looked at her.

"I need a shower and a change of clothing."

XXX

In the office Abbott and Cho weren't making much progress. The license plates were stolen and initially reported in Napa County. Wiley couldn't get a good view from any of the traffic cameras and the face of the stalker stayed mystery. They were going through records to see if there had been any disturbances reported near Lisbon's house or if there had been anything suspicious in the area in the past few months and came up with nothing.

"This is a waste of time," Cho finally said in frustration as he slammed shut the cover of the last report he had been reading. Abbott glanced at him from the other desk and also closed the report he had been looking.

"At least we know that whoever it is, he has been careful and probably has planned his observations in detail," he said.

"I hope Lisbon managed to talk Jane into seeing Dr. Carter," he continued.

"I don't think she had any problems. Jane seemed really rattled," Cho said seriously.

"I hope he remembers something as otherwise we have to wait until tonight and take the stalker down and interrogate him," Cho continued.

"I'm sure he will struggle," he carried on deadpan.

Abbott raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.

"If Jane remembers a time when something seems to be out of place, at least we would have a timeline to try to find out where he went and if anybody had an opportunity to do something to him, but as long as we have no idea there isn't much we can do," Abbott said.

"Let's have a break and hope that maybe Dr. Carter can give us something," he continued and ushered Cho out of the office to get something to eat.

XXX

Lisbon had driven Jane to Dr. Carter's office. It was in an airy and bright corner of the FBI building with quiet corridors and only few people visible moving about. Lisbon knocked on his door and it was opened by an old, wiry man with a shock of white hair, white beard and gold rimmed glasses.

He vigorously shook Lisbon hand and said, "You must be Theresa Lisbon. I'm so pleased to finally meet the woman who tamed Patrick Jane."

Lisbon was ushered in as she was still processing that statement and the man held out his hand to Jane.

"You look awful Patrick," he said as he ushered him in too.

He directed both of them to sit on a comfortable sofa in a corner of the room and sat himself in an armchair next to it. He just observed them for a while in silence before speaking.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" he said calmly as he looked at Jane who weakly smiled at him.

"I think it might be better if I talk with Patrick alone, if that's okay with you, my dear?" he then directed towards Lisbon.

Lisbon looked at Jane who gave her another weak smile and nodded.

"It's okay. Believe it or not, but I trust him," he said.

"Okay then," Lisbon said and got up, but not before placing a kiss on Jane's forehead. She then nodded at Dr. Carter and left the room. As she was stepping outside, she heard him say, "Tell me, what has happened and what have you tried so far?" before she closed the door.

If Jane trusted the good doctor, then she had to trust him and hope that he could help Jane.

Lisbon made her way back to the office and hoped that Abbott and Cho had come up with something.

XXX

At the end of the day Lisbon was as frustrated as Cho. They had found absolutely nothing and now it seemed the only way forward was to catch the observer in action, but they needed to use Jane as bait. And there had been no signs of him yet, which worried Lisbon. Surely they would have told her if he needed admission or some treatment. Maybe Dr. Carter was somehow involved, her paranoia was whispering in her ear, which she promptly dismissed. Jane would not trust the man if he had any doubts and his instincts rarely let him down.

As she was thinking about Jane and his instincts, the man made an appearance with Dr. Carter at his side. Abbott and Cho both stood up to meet them and Lisbon warily got up from behind her desk. Jane looked tired and distracted, Dr. Carter was frowning as he waved them closer.

"Something has definitely been done to Patrick and we suspect it is false memory imprinting," Dr. Carter said.

"The problem is that he has his memory palace full of memories and details, especially about Red John, and some of the more painful ones he has suppressed, so it will take some time to find exactly what has been tampered with and how and that should lead us to who," he concluded.

"We agreed to talk more tomorrow, but for now it's best if he gets some rest as insomnia is just going to strengthen these false memories. I have prescribed some strong sleeping tablets for now that should knock him out," he said as he put a hand on Jane's shoulder.

"I don't like taking them, but I think at present it's the only thing I haven't tried," Jane commented.

"Nonetheless I don't feel comfortable Lisbon being in the house with me," he continued looking at her. Lisbon went to him and against all their rules of not behaving like a couple at work, she reached and held his hand.

"That's fine. We had planned on taking down the stalker anyway tonight so it actually works pretty well if you go home and go to bed and we stake out the guy," she said.

Jane looked alarmed.

"I should stay awake in that case," he said as he looked at Lisbon, Cho and Abbott in turn.

"No, you better carry on as usual so that the stalker doesn't realize we are onto him. And anyway he has never physically approached you, so you will be safe," Cho said.

Dr. Carter listened as they explained their plan.

"At least Patrick should get the chance to rest, you will catch the guy and hopefully he can enlighten us what's going on so that we can sort out the whole mess," he agreed.

XXX

As the evening fell, Jane was back in the house sitting on the sofa as usual and drinking tea to calm his nerves. He had taken the sleeping tablets and had decided to stay on the sofa as otherwise it might give him away to the mystery observer. He started to feel drowsy and lied down pulling a blanket on top of himself. He had closed the kitchen door and had wedged a chair underneath in the hopes that if he did sleep walk again, it would deter him from finding any knives. He left the light on though as he didn't want to wake up to darkness.

He fell asleep.

XXX

Lisbon, Cho and Abbott had left their cars quite a way back in an effort not to rouse suspicion. They had hidden themselves deep in the woods, while still maintaining a visual contact with Jane, who now was sleeping on the sofa. There hadn't been any signs of the stalker and they had started to doubt whether their plan would work. Then they heard a car approaching with lights switched off. The car came to a stop and soft sounds announced the door being opened and closed. Footsteps were coming their way and finally they saw a silhouette of a man looking down at Lisbon's house.

The game was on.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** This is it. Thank you for your company on the journey and I hope this final chapter is a suitable ending.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

The night plodded along with Jane fast asleep on the sofa. The sleeping tablets had definitely knocked him out as there wasn't even a twitch to be seen. The observer patiently waited and kept a keen eye on Jane, occasionally writing notes. Lisbon, Cho and Abbott went undetected as the night started to turn into morning.

When the sky was slowly brightening and there had been no movement from Jane, the mysterious man seemed to give up. He packed away his notes and binoculars and dug his phone from his pocket and dialled a number.

"He has been fast asleep all night," was how he started once somebody answered the phone. "I suspect he has been given sleeping tablets," he continued rubbing his face as he listened to the other person.

"No, there is no point in waiting. We better bring him in tonight for another session," he confidently said. "Last time we had only few hours, so we should be able to complete the imprinting if we have him for the most of the night."

"Agent Lisbon might be a problem though if she arrives before we have a chance to return him," the man said as he frowned and looked over at the sleeping form of Jane. The other person seemed to have a reassuring answer for him as his features smoothed over.

"Well, that should work if she is staying at the hotel. We can get a warning if she starts moving and can distract her easily enough," he continued seemingly satisfied.

"Yes, I have enough epinephrine and glutamate, however I need more amphetamine and Rohypnol. You need to ensure that I have everything I need for tonight. I also need the ECT machine back." After giving these instructions the man seemed to be satisfied and terminated the call.

As Lisbon had been listening to his list of required items, she had been getting increasingly worried and terrified. She didn't know why all of it was needed or even what ECT machine was, but it didn't sound good.

She glanced at Cho and Abbott to see them also looking grim and getting ready to make a move. They had agreed to wait in the hopes that the man would again call his partner and then apprehend him. That way whoever it was wasn't alarmed by the lack of contact and they had better chances of tracking the phone call.

Once the man started moving towards his car, all three agents jumped up guns drawn and surrounded the man. In the dusk and with his hood up, his face wasn't visible, but his body language gave his surprise and agitation away.

"FBI, put your hands on your head!" Cho gave a terse command. The man seemed to hesitate, but more because of confusion rather than because he was resisting. Cho approached him anyway and roughly pulled his arms behind his back and handcuffed him while Abbott and Lisbon kept their guns trained on him.

Cho pulled the hood down to reveal a white man in his thirties with mousy hair and thick glasses. He looked terrified, but determined at the same time.

"I have done nothing wrong!" he declared as he tried to look defiant. Cho started reading his rights as Abbott went to get his car so they could drive back to the FBI building for proper interrogation. Lisbon had frisked the man in the meantime and withdrew the phone from his pocket and removed his backpack.

"You can't take that," their prisoner wailed as Lisbon slipped his phone into her pocket. Cho had had enough of the man's protests and pushed him roughly towards their car. When he had been manhandled into the back, Lisbon gave all the man's possessions to Cho.

"I'm going to check on Jane and stay with him until he wakes up," she said.

"I'm also going to have a shower and change my clothes and then take him to Dr. Carter for them to continue. Just in case if we can't get anything out of this guy," Lisbon said as she yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"This guy has no chance in hell," Cho deadpanned and Lisbon completely believed him.

"I'll see you guys in the office a bit later," Lisbon said as she stepped into her own car and watched Abbott drive away with a wave of his hand.

XXX

Jane felt wonderfully heavy and warm when he was rising out of the dreamless sleep. For a second he just lied still gathering his bearings and was instantly aware of the smell of coffee and the muffled sound of shower. He felt panic rising in his throat, surely Lisbon hadn't stayed in the house, but then remembered their plan for the night. The sleeping tablets had done their job and hopefully the presence of Lisbon back at home meant that they had been successful in apprehending his stalker.

He got up suppressing his groans as his muscles were very stiff and sore after having slept in the same position all night. He slowly made his way towards the stairs and climbed up only to come across Lisbon emerging from the bathroom with only a towel around her.

He stiffened and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her fully. The crimson blood was slowly welling up along the front of her throat and it was making rivulets down her chest and soiling her towel.

Lisbon stopped and looked at him worryingly.

"Jane, what is it?" she asked as she approached him.

Jane blinked few times and swallowed convulsively and the blood disappeared and it was only a very wet Lisbon in front of him. Looking up at him with a concerned look in her eyes.

"Sorry, I thought I saw something…" his voice trailed off as he lifted a hand and gently traced Lisbon's collarbone. She stilled under his hand but didn't withdraw.

"It's the visions again isn't it?" she asked and covered his hand with hers. Jane mutely nodded.

"Let me get dressed and then I will tell you what happened last night," Lisbon changed the topic, "Then I will take you back to Dr. Carter and you can continue to sort this out," she said gently hugging him.

Jane held onto Lisbon tightly. He was so afraid of himself that he was willing to do anything to get to the bottom of these false memories. Dr. Carter was willing to consider even wild theories and he was the only one that Jane was comfortable to be hypnotized by.

He released Lisbon slowly, who took one look at him and frowned disapprovingly.

"You also need a shower and change of clothes. Go on, I'll see you downstairs," she said and practically pushed him into the shower.

XXX

Once Lisbon was drinking her coffee and Jane had his tea, she told him about the previous night.

"Are you sure that you heard him correctly when he gave his list of items that he needed?" Jane asked frowning.

"Yes, why? Do they mean something to you?" Lisbon answered as she rinsed her cup, grabbed the car keys and they both made their way to the car.

"Yes, and it's nothing good," Jane said, but didn't elaborate further. Lisbon decided not to push it and made a note to make sure Dr. Carter knew what the items were.

XXX

Once they got to the office, Lisbon accompanied Jane to Dr. Carter's office. He was ready for them and guided them in to sit on the same sofa as before.

"Well, you look more fresh and rested Patrick. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I was feeling better, but the flashbacks and visions are more and more frequent," Jane answered.

"We got the man last night and he definitely has something in mind for Jane," Lisbon interjected quickly before they got side-tracked and proceeded to tell everything that had happened.

"Hmm, sounds like last time they had only few hours with you to plant these memories and by the sound of it, had to be pretty heavy handed. That's probably why the false memories are bleeding through and you are having these visions and flashbacks," Dr. Carted mused.

"I still don't know when they had me," Jane said in quiet desperation, "I can't remember anything like that."

"The ECT machine is most likely culprit for that," Dr. Carter continued to think aloud.

"What is it?" Lisbon asked as it sounded ominous.

"ECT stands for electroconvulsive therapy that is commonly used for treatment for example in severe depression," the doctor answered, "It's known to induce amnesia and with Rohypnol, I can imagine that the effect is quite long lasting, if not permanent," he continued frowning.

"The other chemicals are known to induce false memories, although I have never before heard anybody mixing them like that," he explained to alarmed Lisbon and Jane who looked more and more worried.

"How do you feel about me hypnotizing you today?" Dr. Carter asked carefully while looking at Jane to gauge his reaction.

"I don't like the idea, but if somebody has been using me as a lab rat, I want to know," Jane said, sounding more like his usual confident self.

Lisbon knew that Jane wouldn't want her there and stood up.

"I'll leave you to it gentlemen," she said as she started to make her way out, but not before stopping next to the arm chair where Dr. Carter was sitting.

"Please, take good care of him," Lisbon said quietly, quite sure that Jane heard the exchange.

"Don't worry, my dear," Dr. Carter answered with a warm smile and ushered her out with hand gestures. Lisbon closed the door quietly behind her.

XXX

She made her way back to the office to see Abbott looking triumphant.

"What have you found out?" Lisbon asked as she walked to stand next to him looking at the big display with several screens on it.

"Plenty," he smiled and turned to Lisbon. "Turns out that our man couldn't resist Cho's charms very long and he started spilling the beans faster than Cho could write the details down."

"Meet Bobby Harper. A forensic psychiatrist who was fired from his job in Napa County Jail due to some unorthodox experiments he did," Abbott started to fill Lisbon in.

"He was befriended by Sheriff McAllister who was sympathetic and interested in his research and gave him facilities to continue with his experiments and provided him with test subjects," Abbott continued.

"Mr. Harper never stopped to question where the people came from or where they went afterwards. He was only interested in his research." Lisbon had started to feel ill at this point. Of course Red John would have found somebody like this wannabe Dr. Mengele to his liking.

"Once McAllister was unveiled as Red John, he lost all access to funding and test subjects. He relocated and built a new lab in his basement, but he was back to square one," Abbott carried on and before Lisbon could ask he continued, "We have a search warrant and will leave shortly"

"His phone was very interesting," interjected Wiley who strolled up to them holding his tablet as he tapped away to enlarge a screen on the display.

"We traced the last phone call to a woman named Terry King and at first she looked like there was no connection to Red John or Jane," he said as Abbott and Lisbon looked at him.

"Then I found an old picture in the local newspaper of a charity event that McAllister attended and guess who was his date for the night?" Wiley brought up a photo showing McAllister with a blonde woman holding onto his arm.

"It was difficult to find any details as she barely has any online footprint, but finally I managed to confirm that indeed she had lived with McAllister for many years."

"Harper confirmed it was her who contacted him," Cho said from behind them. He had quietly returned and had been listening. Abbott, Lisbon and Wiley turned to him to listen to the rest of what he had to say.

"Apparently King was well aware of McAllister's double life as Red John and once he was killed by Jane, she went into a rage." Cho continued as he sat down on the end of the desk.

"She knew about Bobby Harper and his experiments and hired him to perform his technique on Jane. To implant false memories of being Red John that wouldn't fade," Cho said with distaste.

"They had their chance when Jane was detained by the airport authority as one of the guards had been working for Red John. They knocked Jane out and took him to Harper's makeshift lab here in Austin where he infused Jane with his cocktail of drugs and then hypnotized him to brainwash him," Cho's voice getting stonier the more he explained about the actual event.

"They thought they would have much longer before having to return him without anybody being none the wiser, but Lisbon screwed up their plans by leaving the plane and staying behind," Cho explained, "They only managed few hours and that's apparently why it has taken this long for any of the effects to come through and why they are so random."

"King's ultimate goal was to make Jane kill Lisbon with the trademark Red John style and make sure the press knew about it. She wanted him to suffer in the knowledge that he had killed the woman he loved and also brand Jane as Red John instead of McAllister," Cho finished.

Lisbon recoiled in horror, "She almost succeeded."

"But she didn't and now we have her," Abbott stated and carried on, "Grab you gear, we are going to get her now before she realizes that she has been exposed."

The team slipped into Agent mode and started gathering guns and vests to get ready before making their way to their cars. Luckily they didn't have to drive too far as Harper had claimed that King was supposed to be in his makeshift lab getting everything ready for Jane tonight.

XXX

Back at the office Dr. Carter and Jane made a plan how to proceed. They wanted to be careful as now they knew what experimental regime had been tried on Jane and the long term effects of the mixture of the drugs together with the ECT was unknown.

They were both also aware of the suppressed memories Jane had and especially Jane was wary of getting too close to them as if he had deemed them too painful to remember, he was well advised to steer clear of them. The only problem was that hypnosis was probably the quickest way of trying to pinpoint exactly what had been done and to try to reverse it. Jane agreed that suggestions under hypnosis might work and they had started the process.

As Lisbon and the others left the building, Jane had gone under hypnosis and Dr. Carter had started to gently navigate through Jane's complicated mind.

XXX

For once everything went without a problem. The team apprehended Terry King, Lisbon getting the honour of cuffing her while King was shouting and screaming at her. They basically had her confession there and then as she didn't seem to care what she said. As she was stuffed into a car and transported away, Lisbon dusted her hands on her thighs and turned to Cho who had come to stand next to her.

Cho was looking at her seriously and quietly said, "We got her. Jane is safe now."

Lisbon nodded appreciating that Cho took the time to reassure her.

"I certainly hope so," she said as they both stood looking after the departing car.

XXX

The atmosphere was definitely lighter and more positive as Lisbon, Cho and Abbott stepped back into the office. It was already getting dark outside when they fell into their chairs.

"Good work agents," Abbott beamed at Lisbon, Cho and Wiley and waved at his hand at a nearby table where steaming pizza boxes were stacked up.

"I took the liberty of ordering food to celebrate," he said smilingly as Wiley sprang up from his seat and practically ran to the food. Cho and Lisbon got up more wearily and went to get few slices for themselves. As they returned to their seats to munch the pizza Dr. Carter walked towards them.

"I'm glad I still caught you here," he said looking serious. Before he could say anything else Wiley had launched into explaining the arrest and what Terry King and Bobby Harper had been up to and what they had found from the lab.

Dr. Carter finally lifted his hand to stop the avalanche of words.

"I'm afraid I have bad news," he said and looked directly at Lisbon who dropped the piece of pizza she had been nibbling as the cold dread spread in the pit of her stomach.

"The hypnosis worked and we were able to find and identify the false memories. I managed to correct most of them with Jane's help," he said.

"But that's good, right?" Wiley commented as he carried on eating.

"Well, yes. That part is good. The bad news is that one particular suppressed memory surfaced causing Jane to become extremely agitated. So much so that I had to sedate him," Dr. Carter slowly explained and sighed deeply.

"Since then the drugs should have worn off, but he is still unresponsive and almost catatonic. I believe he has reverted back to his condition immediately after finding his family murdered," he continued and then hesitated. He looked undecided and looked up at Lisbon in an effort to find guidance.

Lisbon had become stone still and her mind had frozen. She couldn't comprehend anything what Dr. Carter was saying, she could only stare at him as her worst fears had come true. Jane had finally fallen apart, just when everything started looking brighter.

"What is it?" Cho asked quietly as the doctor didn't immediately continue.

Dr. Carter took a deep breath before continuing.

"I found the reason why Patrick seemed to first strangle his victim in his dreams before slashing them with a knife," he hesitantly continued, "but I don't feel comfortable in talking about this in an open office."

"Can we please move to my office?" he asked indicating that Lisbon, Cho and Abbott should follow him. When Wiley went to follow, he stopped him saying, "I believe this information should be available only for those who need to know." Wiley looked confused and mildly hurt, but he sat back down and watched as the others left the room.

XXX

Once they were sitting behind closed doors Dr. Carter finally allowed himself to show the signs of strain and stress.

"I want to make it clear that this is not exact science and I cannot say with 100 % certainty that this is what happened. Especially taking into account how much Patrick has had his mind messed with," he cautioned as he sat down heavily in the arm chair.

Lisbon sat at one end, Cho next to her while Abbott sat down on the other arm chair across the small table. Lisbon didn't really want to hear any of this, but knew that she had to in effort to help Jane. She was aware how close Cho was sitting to her, his solid presence comforting, but still keeping his distance to give her space.

"What I can gather is that Patrick figured out very early on who Red John was," Dr. Carter started.

"He had been having marital problems and came up with a complicated plan to make it all go away. He contacted Red John, threatening to expose him if he didn't play along and Red John seemingly agreed," he explained trying not to see the horrified expressions on everyone's faces. Especially Lisbon looked like she was about to collapse.

"His memories seem to indicate that he strangled Angela and Red John was supposed to then make it look like his usual kill. What Patrick hadn't taken into account was that Red John wasn't that easily coaxed into doing other man's bidding. While Patrick had attacked Angela, Red John had killed Charlotte, but mercifully having been quick about it. It had been the finding of her body that had broken him that first time around. It had been Red John's revenge," Dr. Carter quietly finished.

"We never understood why Charlotte had been killed as she was the only child Red John ever killed," Cho said slowly as he turned this new angle in his head, "This would explain it."

"How sure are you about this?" Abbott demanded.

"As I said, I can only speculate. The Patrick Jane that you knew has his mind fractured and it's very difficult to know what is real, what is false and what he made up throughout the years pushed along by his guilt and rage," Dr. Carter said wearily.

Lisbon's hands had been shaking and she was holding them tightly together to stop it. When she tried to speak, her voice broke and she couldn't get anything out. She couldn't take in what she was hearing. She was hearing the words but they had no meaning for her. Finally she managed to croak out, "Where is he now?"

Dr. Carter looked at her with deep sympathy that in normal circumstances would have made Lisbon to get up and slap him across the face. Now she could only wait in numbness and in equal measures of horror and longing to find out what had happened to the man she loved. The man she didn't know anymore, the man who had broken apart to be lost forever.

"I had him admitted to a secure psychiatric facility. I will take you there whenever you want," he answered.

"Can we go now?" Lisbon hoarsely whispered.

Dr. Carter only nodded and stood up and offered his hand to help Lisbon up. However it was Cho who helped her up and supported her when she stumbled. She leaned against him ignoring Dr. Carter who then led the way leaving Abbott alone to digest what he had been told.

XXX

They walked along the long, white corridor. It wasn't that bright as there were only night lights on but it was enough to make it clear that this was a high security medical facility. Dr. Carter stopped to talk to the nurse on duty at the nurse's station as another nurse showed Lisbon and Cho down the corridor to where Jane had his room.

Lisbon slowed down the closer they got and Cho followed her lead. He didn't touch he,r but he didn't leave her side either. He had never seen Lisbon this fragile and he vowed not to let her deal with this alone.

Lisbon stopped in front of the locked door. They had been told that Jane was heavily sedated as he had become animated and extremely agitated again few hours before.

"Open the door please. I want to see him," she said to the nurse who looked over her head at Dr. Carter who nodded.

"He's heavily sedated," the nurse warned her as he unlocked the door.

Lisbon stepped in leaving Cho standing at the door. Jane was wearing blue scrubs and was tucked underneath white thick blankets. His eyes were open but unseeing as he lay on the bed in the room that had white walls and a small table, but nothing else.

Lisbon stepped forwards and sat down next to him. The tears that she had been holding back finally broke free.

"Hi Jane," she choked out through her tears as she reached out to stroke his golden curls. Jane gave no response, his eyes stayed on the ceiling, his breathing steady. Lisbon carried on stroking his hair as her tears fell freely. Jane was completely lost to her. The realization hit her hard, like somebody had dropped a heavy stone on her.

"Goodbye Jane," she whispered and leant down to kiss his forehead before getting up. She would return one day, she vowed to herself as she took faltering steps to the door and gently closed it behind her. There was a sound of a key turning in the lock leaving silence behind that was only disturbed by the steady sound of soft breathing.

His body had stayed behind, but his mind was gone.

Patrick Jane was no more.

**The end**


End file.
